Monday, December 08, 2008

Who is the worst Food Network chef?

After seeing Bobby Flay's Brown Bag Apple Pie Throwdown with The Elegant Farmer, I had to take a trip to Mukwanago and buy a pie. The Farmer's pies baked in a paper bag live up to their billing as the "best pies in America." It was no wonder to me why their pie beat Flay's Fried Apple Pies. But I still thought that Flay's pies must have been pretty darn good. Last night I found out the truth.

Following the recipe at the FoodTV website, my wife duplicated Flay's fried pies. The pies started with a cooked apple mixture. So far, so good. The mixture was mighty tasty on it's own.

The apple mixture was then wrapped in a pie dough (containing copious amounts of butter and lard) to make turnovers. The turnovers were then deep fried.

The result was a culinary atrocity. The butter, lard and peanut oil soaked pastry dominated everything. Think "McDonald's Apple Pie with a pat of lard on top." That Throwdown was not even close. I still feel wads of the fatty globules working their way through my body.

On the other hand, the crust was nice and flaky.

This wasn't our first Food Network recipe gone bad. Even some of know-it-all Alton Brown's "this is the only way to cook it" creations have been failures. And don't be pointing fingers this way, my wife and I can cook and know how to follow a recipe.

Who is the worst of the FoodTV chefs? Take the poll.


Sal said...

I´m guessing Rachel Ray is the worst.

Clearly, Paula Deen is the most painful to sit through. She's insufferable. After two minutes of her saccharine camera-mugging, I start foaming at the mouth and looking for a wood chipper.

I've eaten at Morimoto in Philadelphia. I´d give it a "pretty good." The problem I had was that many of the courses (and my Cilantro Martini) were over the top sweet.

I like the style of Bobby Flay's cooking--with his emphasis on grilled meats, teamed with hot chiles, teamed with sweet fruits. Pity that he has the presentation skills of an orangatan.

From watching Iron Chef America, Michael Symon seems supremely talented.

And then there's Mario. On the spectrum of Food Network talent, I think he is the pinnacle. All hail Mario. He deserves it.

Headless Blogger said...

Sal - When I saw the vote for Rachael Ray, I thought my wife had voted. She cannot stand her.

Anonymous said...

Giada De Laurentis & Bobby Flay. c