Friday, August 01, 2008

EXCLUSIVE: Yost offered $20 million to not manage Brewers

While Headless Blogger cannot independently confirm this, a source close to a group of broadcasters, sportswriters and fans says that the group is preparing to present Ned Yost with an offer of $2 million annually for 10 years if he agrees to not manage the Milwaukee Brewers.

Headless Blogger has also learned that unlike the $20 million deal being offered by the Green Bay Packers to estranged quarterback Brett Favre, the Yost deal will encourage him to manage another MLB team. The deal provides incentives for Yost to manage other NL Central teams, with a premium of up to double the base deal if Yost manages the rival Chicago Cubs.

In response to an inquiry on the matter, Brewers radio voice Bob Uecker (not my anonymous source) said "I was at Miller Park today and had a nice visit with Ned Yost. We discussed a number of topics not related to baseball, including Ned's long-term relationship with the Brewers. I consider our conversation to be confidential and am going to be respectful of Neddy and keep the details private." (I repeat, Uke is not my source.)

Yost apparently didn't think much of the offer, as his agent told reporters that his client wished to remain with the Brewers.

"Right now he's interested in staying in the Brewers' dugout," his agent said.

It was later reported that Yost provided comments to ESPN with a text messsage.

"There isn't a perfect solution to this, but these fans are at least trying," Yost told ESPN's Ed Werder via text message on Thursday night. "We know what they want and where I stand. This solution, although awkward and unsettling for most, may be the best in the end.''

Brewers owner Mark Attanasio and GM Doug Melvin were not available for comment.

Elsewhere, despite a summer of no 90 degree temperatures in Milwaukee, meteorologists explained that this is another sign of manmade global warming.

Meteorologists at the weather service say several factors could be keeping the temperature down, but part of it may be the ground's fault. So much rain fell in June that the soil is saturated, the forecasters say. When the temperature hits the 80s, that moisture evaporates relatively quickly and keeps the air from heating more.

Also, thunderstorms developed several times last month and cooled the air when the temperature threatened to break out of the upper 80s.

The heavy rains and thunderstorms were previously blamed as attributable to global warming. Hence, global warming causes local cooling.

Seriously, that I could not make up. Everything after the "Elsewhere" is from our local online mainstream meda source.

Elsewhere, hat tip to Andy Borowitz for my inspiration.


steveegg said...

Well, I can offer $20 of that. In fact, consider this the official offer.

Headless Blogger said...

Steve - Funny, I was thinking of attributing a fake quote to you. I should have done it.

steveegg said...

I could've given you a real one.